Sophie is learning about structures at school. For the last few weeks she’s been building bridges, making edible skyscrapers, and other building related projects. The homework this week was to write a story with the following opening. I thought Owen might like this bit of storytelling…
Crossing the bridge into the enchanted land was a life changing event…
Lola walked slowly and carefully across the rickety old bridge that she had found hiding away in the gloomy forest. Suddenly, without warning, the bridge began to spin and spin and spin. It got faster and faster. Then it stopped. It took her a few seconds to realise that she wasn’t in the same forest. She was in a completely different land and the bridge had changed. It had become a shining gold palace-like bridge with terraces and many windows and doors. It looked like people were living in it but they weren’t people at all. They were smaller than her and were half human, half horse!
Lola felt cold and damp. It was snowing all around her and showing no sign of stopping. It was like something out of a fairy story. Lola was alone and dizzy from her journey. She wandered into the forest but didn’t know where to go. She didn’t know if this was a dangerous land. Lola did not want to do anything silly in case something bad happened to her.
Nervously she walked back to the bridge and all the time she was wondering what if the bridge didn’t take her home but it took her to another land? What if she never saw her family again? There was only one way to answer this question so Lola placed her feet on the magnificent bridge. Nothing happened. She was still in the enchanted land. Lola started to panic. Why hadn’t it taken her home?
Lola decided to remain calm. Who could she ask for help? The horse/humans! So she pattered down off the bridge and gently knocked on one of the small doors. It immediately opened and out tottered a little old man … or horse. “What do you want” he said nastily. “I need some help please” said Lola shyly. “Oh all right come in”.
Lola told him everything about her amazing journey, from how she had gotten to the forest to why she was standing in his dusty little house.
“Maybe I could give you a spell to make the bridge work?” “Yes please” said Lola excitedly. So he gave her the spell and she thanked him and said goodbye.
Happily she bounded into the middle of the incredible bridge and muttered the spell thrice and the bridge began to spin again. In a matter of moments she was back in the forest she knew with the same rickety bridge by her side and for that second she knew she would never forget her trip!
I’ve got a facebook account. But I don’t get it. I just don’t. Am I thick or has someone created a whole new paradigm for human/computer interfaces that no one told me about? (OK I know it’s about human/human communication/prattle but I can’t get past the chaos of facebook). Is it specifically designed to confuse the over 35s? Is it revenge for the mosquito device teenager repellent? What?
I get notifications about stuff other people have done to other people. I get regular emails from Owen asking me to play scabulous – I had to rely on his tech support to navigate around the screen looking for the damned application because the invite didn’t contain a link to the app.
Now Owen is cajoling me into joining a group about the Ball Surname in Ireland. Fine – after three days of web 2.0 compliant insults I relent and decide to join.
Where’s the join button? Where do I point the mouse thing [picks up mouse and waves it at the screen] to make me join the group. There is no link in the invite. There is no flashing spinning button that says “join this group be-atch”
How come I feel like such a fscking idiot every time I log on there? I’ve been blogging since early 2003, I’m hip, I’m cool, why don’t I get it?
Answers via postcard please.